The tiny-yet-mighty ergo challenge
3 months since birth, and while some bod parts seem healed, my organism is clearly still adapting — breakdowns, new growth, fluid systems. I've exercised only twice, but whether feeding or soothing, there is one muscle group getting all the action. Feels ironic that everything has gone soft except for my biceps, like hormonally femme Rubenesque meets flexing bros at muscle beach. To hold and be held. To hold yourself…
Maintaining a good ergo position while nursing has required pillow forts, beefy arm rests, pop-up nests, and a mantra of "down & back" to stubborn stressed shoulder habits. (Not to mention text neck 2.0 of staring down into that sweet face or dang pump…) Do all parents experience such warping?
Truthfully, these torqued-wing aches are not actually new — this is my “problem area” — where I experienced star-vision pain years ago, a habit-formed nerve injury that led to quitting my stressful job, moving to the country, and turning from writing to fitness. Relearned how to stand, hold myself, listen to the bod. Perhaps you can relate? E.g., tight hunch 'n' collapse, WFH laptop couch, long traffic drive, too-big bike too-tall desk, fears and deadlines and rigidity, crap posture 'cause it takes a lot of effort to sit up straight…
When feeling fussy, I try to do what I can: slow neck rolls if feeding, slow indoor steps if soothing, bundled outdoor walks if napping, deep breaths that inflate his whole spirit as they do mine. And retracting shoulder blades ("down & back") the whole way through.
How it feels
To me, retracting shoulder blades feels like cinching backpack straps, choking up on the reins, pulling the bike chain back in track, smooth suspension cables, creating space.
As much as I used to rely on the intense release of warehouse-stomp dancing or panting-on-the-floor CrossFit seshes, this chapter is challenging my mind-bod like so: How to go slow and recalibrate. How to stay sane without me time. How to soothe. Small, subtle, spiral progress.
How do you manage your warping?